This bloody Chromebook...

Well, how the hell am I supposed to know that you're not supposed to put the charger in the earphones socket? They're both round holes, aren't they, so how are you supposed to know the difference? Why you can't just get Chromebooks that stay plugged in all the time, I don't know. If I can't get to my Peter Wilson Auctions, I'll have a nervous breakdown. I can't even bloody print properly with this - it just keeps saying that it's being sent to a Cloud. I mean, what's that supposed to be? I'll just have to ask Sharon when she next comes round. I'm not asking your sister. I'm not talking to her. She said that I've never taken any interest in horses. Can you believe that? I spent half of my life up at those stables in the 1980s and we even had to sit there once for 5 hours when the battery went flat in the Saab. And then she accused me of only bring some Morrison's profiteroles for Christmas dinner last year. Can you believe it?! Anyway, how do you spell 'epiglottis' again?